"... I don't know whether I like the cars better or the women." Red Johnny hollered out in his cockney accent. "Well, if I was James Bond, I'd take the women in the car!" The tavern room roared in drunken laughter that overshouted the creaking of the floorboards and the clunking of mugs on the tables. Finally, a crotchety old man stood up. Seadog, he was known as. "James Bond! All of you think that James Bond is the ultimate master secret agent.""Hear comes another old story, blokes." Shouted someone from the back."James Bond, huh? Well, let me tell all of you. I met a real secret agent." Seadog said, tapping his cane like a schoolmaster on the head of a drunk young man. "He was a secret agent before the word was invented. He was in Her Majesty's Secret Service before the MI-5 was invented.""Go on old man." Said the bartender. "If it's good, I'll clear your tab.""Aye it's good, lad. Good. It be good. But it be true, too," Seadog said. All eyes were either on the old man or were shut in drunken stupor. "As I said, I met this man two months ago..."I was out fishing west of the Isles. As usual, it were a frigid foggy morn. The sun be shinin' somewhere, but from where I stood on the deck of me boat, it'd be hard to tell. Gulls were squawking and flappin about and tryin to steal me catch. Between rigging the sails and swiping at the gulls, I had me hands full."Without warning, me ship was rammed and split in twain. The boards broke and splintered. Me catch flew through the air out of the bin and back into the water. I, myself, was nearly flung into the icy Atlantic, but for my quick reactions. But, I found me holding onto the mast and the fore half of the ship was sinking quickly."I looked into the water to see a cursed submarine - and a damned ugly one, too. It didn't seem to me to be like any submarine that I had seen and I thought that I was done for. Done in by that damned ugly submarine. But, just when me boots touched the water, a frightful ship appeared from the fog - she seemed to be formed of the fog itself. Tattered sail and battered wood - it was a surprise that she floated at all let alone with the speed of a clipper."Invisible hands from the ghost ship pulled me aboard, and I, too seemed a ghost for all that I still felt alive and could see the mist of my warm breath still. There was a man, dressed as an old pirate. He was a handsome lad with a scoundrel's look. And he had a firm grip as he shook my hand."'Welcome aboard The Eternity,' he said, 'Secure yourself, for we are in pursuit of an enemy of The Queen.'"I were speechless." Half the patrons of the bar guffawed and Seadog huffed indignantly before continuing."'Bring her to full speed and veer to starboard!' Cried the pirate captain, but to whom I couldn't tell. The sails dropped to full length catching some unknown wind and the ship tipped slightly as it turned."The Eternal quickly caught up to her quarry. Again the Captain's voice boomed, 'Prepare to board! Remember we're looking for the box. Only the box and no more. No loot, lads. Remember this is your atonement.'"With that the Captain leaped off the deck and onto the submarine, but he did more than land on the submarine, he went through it's steel hull. A chill went up my spine. Sure, I knew that I was on a ghost ship, but having shaken the hand of a ghost was something else altogether. I watched, but could not see anything. There were sounds, for sure, from the submarine. I thought that I heard a volley of muskets and some other noises."About a quarter hour later, the Captain emerged from the submarine - again through its deck. He climbed the ladder and leaped back upon the deck of The Eternal. With a smile, he showed me the box that he had retrieved. It was locked, and he wasn't going to open it."'It's not mine, Seadog,' he declared. He handed the box to me and said, 'take good care of it.' Again he shouted to sailors that I could neither see nor hear, 'Leave be, lads. We take no prize here, not even that iron ship. Our mission be just to retrieve the box that was taken from the Royal Museum. Bring The Eternal around and set sail for Buckingham.'"I looked at the box I had been given as caretaker. Long, it be, perhaps a meter and a half, but barely over a hand wide. Oak painted black and with a gold foil dragon stretched out on it. The Captain placed his hand on my shoulder and told me, 'Your life I have saved and with it a boon. Here is the boon. You may admire the box, but it is not yours nor shall ye take from within it. Take Excalibur's Scabbard to the Queen when I leave ye at the Palace.'"'Who be you?' I asked him. The ship floated off the water and into the air picking up speed and leaving the submarine behind."'I am the Captain of the Eternal, commander of me ghost crew, and bearer of a Letter of Marque from the Good Queen Bess,' he said as he stood proudly before me. He flashed a rogue's smile at me. 'Here be me story, man."'Twere a right nasty storm off the Spanish coast by Cartagena. But I did not give up me pursuit of the galleons. The Spanish Captain would not heave to - his ship was slow from the load of Aztec gold, so instead of turning towards the Eternal to run, he pulled his sails up and headed into the storm. Me crew is a bunch of hearty lads and fine sailors, too. We caught up to the slowest galleon in the midst of the storm and boarded. Twas then that a Jesuit priest spread his arms and shouted some words in a tongue that was not Spanish nor English nor French. But I knew that it be magic."'An evil green glow spread from the fingers of the priest and touched me crew. Every one of them died that day. I think that I did, too. When I next awoke, the ship was drifting at night, out of the storm. Something thumped against the Eternal's hull, though, and I went to discover what twas. Twere a log, and on it a man - a Spaniard sailor from me quarry, the San Salvador. I hauled him aboard and asked him in Spanish what happened."'He told me about the priest who was a sorceror that practiced the black art. The priest had cast an evil spell. It slew me crew, but it also put a hole in the San Salvador that seemed to go to the sea floor. The Spaniard galleon sunk. Me men died. But, those that had little greed in their heart went straight to the afterlife. The others, why they were still around. I looked about and saw twas so. Half me men stood about the deck as if awaiting me orders. Then I asked the Spaniard about me. I have no greed in me heart - my bucaneering is me duty to the Queen and England."'He said simply that I be their Captain and they are my responsibility.' The dashing Captain finish his story and then simply said to me, 'As long as there is a Queen of England, I am in her service along with my crew doing their penance until we finally leave this Earth. Men call me now Captain Spectre.'"With that he set me down upon the steps of Buckingham Palace and I watched the ghost ship leave again on some mission for the Queen," Seadog lifted his mug and drained the last dregs of his beer. He loudly set the cup down on the counter for the bartender to refill. "So, it is he, Thomas Green, Captain Spectre, who was the first and is the longest secret agent in Her Majesty's Secret Service." |
